Taking time offline, and why that's okay
Hi you lot, I hope you've had a brilliant weekend! I'm back at my desk a little bit sooner than I had expected to be. Without going into detail, I lost someone very special to me last week and naturally, I've not wanted to do very much since. The very last thing I wanted to do was write, or to be online in any way that I had to be present. I've so desperately not wanted to appear on Instagram stories portraying my usual happy soul when what I felt was the polar opposite. I, very easily, managed to shut off the part of my brain that would usually guilt trip me into being active online and maintaining my presence there when I wasn't feeling up to it, because it feels like it just isn't important to me at all. The internet will still be there when I get back. The world will not stop turning because I've taken a little break. The saying "It puts things into perspective" really does have some clout at times like these. I don't know if I'll be okay next week or the week after that but today, I felt like writing so here I am.
We should never feel as though we have to be online when we're not feeling ourselves. It's a strange pressure during our time in life that I will never understand, even though I've let myself fall victim to these thoughts in the past. Our happiness and our health is what matters, and it's what should come before all else.
This weekend was so great. I was surrounded by friends, James, and I got stuck into little projects at my flat that I've wanted to sort out for ages. I made a scrap book of all the film photos of trips and memories that I've made over the past year and it was such a cathartic thing to do. I put on some old Kings of Leon and happily planned layouts, stuck photos down and wrote little reminders of what was happening in each photo. On Saturday night I booked one of my favourite local restaurants, Parlour Kensal, for me and my friends to celebrate my birthday, which is tomorrow, and I couldn't have been happier to eat, drink and dance all night. I didn't take my phone out of my bag for the entire night and I didn't even notice until today that I haven't got a single photo. It was perfect.
Please remember that although people might miss your online presence if you take some time out, that nobody would ever blame you for putting yourself first, and they'd be super happy to have you back only as long as you were feeling better.
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Thank you so much for always supporting everything I do, it's because of you lot that I'm able to do what I do and that's just pretty amazing. I'm hoping to be back on Wednesday with something else from LA, but just bear with me. xx