I’ve wanted to write this for a while now. I started a new series on my YouTube channel (linked here) called ‘The Reset Series’ and it’s a series dedicated to supporting people with worry, anxiety and depression, in whatever form that make take. It’s designed to be an open conversation about Mental Health that allows a community to chat, exchange tips whilst being positive and open. It is not a place to feel sorry for yourself, instead, feel safe in the knowledge that you are not alone, and someone somewhere feels like you do.
It’s been going so well and knowing that it’s helping people spurs me on. After all, I started the series because anxiety and worry are things that I can struggle with myself.
I wanted to address this here, on my blog, because I haven’t really touched on it before. The way I wanted to do this was to share a day in my life with you, in pictures and in feelings.
This was documented on a Friday. A lovely day because James was off work and we got to have some quality time together, coffee, lunch, shopping. The most chilled day. Except that I feel on edge for most of the day and was on the verge of ruining it all with my loss of patience, panic and low mood.
I started off my day like most others, pottering around in my dressing gown, taking time to get ready and do bits of work in between whilst James caught up on the footy highlights. We work well like that, we’re really relaxed in our home together so I love just being around him.
Then we walked to our local coffee shop to get a coffee, now, caffeine isn’t my friend when I’m feeling off, it almost fuels a panic attack! So this was probably my first mistake….that and being due on my period AT ANY MOMENT meaning my hormones were quite literally through the roof. The next mistake was going to Westfield- it was bedlam and the crowds just made me more and more agitated.
We popped to the tip- which is a satisfying thing to do, when you’ve got the world and his wife in cardboard form accumulating in your hallway. This is where it started to affect me. I was short with James, in a bad little mood and all because I was having an internal meltdown. I felt on edge, panicky, and snappy. I knew it was my hormones and the coffee at this point, and I can be quite the rational woman about it, but can you always stop it? can you hell.
We went about our day, and I stifled these feelings as much as possible, and it’s true, you can be so high functioning even when you feel like your world is crashing down around you, just remember you’ll always be okay and you’ll always get through it. I’m lucky that James understands more about what happens to me now, and he will give me the space to calm down, talk me round a bit and make me think about things more logically and less emotionally. It was only once we got home, and I felt settled again, with my camomile tea in hand, that I really started to feel calmer.
Cheers to him for that.
I hope this has helped you even a tiny bit. It happens to more people than you think, on some level. The Reset Series explores this in more depth so give it a watch if you feel you’re struggling because you absolutely don’t have to do it on your own. Feel free to message me too.
Thanks so much for reading and take care of yourself xx